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Gratitude

A Series of Awkward Moments

Well, to counter my pre-menstrual pity party, I have decided to make a short of list of some of the things I'm grateful for (This always makes me feel better):

-My opportunity for an education
-My cozy apartment
-The fact that my fiance lives in it
-And makes me breakfast most mornings
-Holiday flavored coffee
-Christmas in general
-I feel thankful that I was raised without a lot of things that others had-I never thought I would say it, but it is so VERY true.
-I should add that my fiance just surprised me with a Bailey's and coffee; I'm definitely thankful for that.
-And the coffee is served in a hand-made mug that he surprised me with a couple of months ago...I'm thankful for my mug.
-It snowed today, just enough to cover the ground and all the trees...it's so pretty.
-I taught two lessons today (kindergarten and third), and they went really well.
-My friends
-My health
-My family...It sounds so cliche to say "friends, family, health," but when you are writing them down, you just think of all of these specific people who just really add a lot to life.
-I FINALLY got a lot of my wedding planned this weekend.
-Kids
-Big Brothers, Big Sisters
-The mayor's day parade is today, and I'm going to watch my little seventh grade friend walk in it. :)

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God, is that you?

In less than six hours, nobody can "bah' at me for being the Christmas junkie that I am...I've already got the Christmas CD in...a little "Santa Baby," and, of course, Mariah Carey--the real queen of the season. I've been watching the movie "Love Actually," which I must reccommend to any and all.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.

I talked to my childhood bf last night for a couple of hrs...She did the 10k last yr. that I'm considering registering for for this yr. (May)...As I've mentioned, although I actually enjoy running, my knees really do kill and pop like crazy the next day (chondromalacia: my pitiful excuse for fatness)--Can't afford to get them "fixed" now, but am wondering if anyone ever runs a race with most of their training as cross-training...I would really love something like this to look forward to, and I really do just enjoy racing and the challenge involved...

Ah, stream of consciousness. Better actually go now. I probably shouldn't show up to Thanksgiving Dinner empty-handed with a fork. :)

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Random Ramblings Unrelated to Fitness, However Equally Boring :
Just got my hair cut...Finally!!! I was starting to resemble "Mr. It," which is not the timely look I was hoping for. So, yes, my po' self actually went and got a hair-cut from my lovely hair dresser who sees me so very little...I have a hard time resisting the egoic urge to tell her about the days gone by when I used to use nice shampoo, tan in the winter, have lots of pretty colors of highlights in my hair, etc., etc....BUT, we are soooo poor.

I have to say that I am really actually proud of us for living like paupers-We used to spend soooooooo much money on stupid crap before my fiance decided to go back to school (Medicine)--- Being flatbroke has really made me realize all that I can go without...It's become so much less important to us to have a lot of money...we want to be stable, of course...but, even more importantly, connected...to eachother...friends...family...other inhabitants of the earth. This is one of the reasons that I started this blog...to become more connected to others and to what I think life is really about.

Anyways, as I was rambling, we went grocery shopping and got loads of dry rice an dry beans, Ramen (although I don't want to eat too much Ramen, b/c it really doesn't have a lot of nutritional value...but at 7 cents a bag, it's hard to argue) --You should really try adding canned peas to your Ramen. --Oh, and I have finally found vegan Ramen, so I'm actually back after years of going without the staple food item of poor college students everywhere.

--Better go...the fiance just made me breakfast---cream of wheat and coffee--He's soooo sweet. Eating beans & rice or cream of wheat just isn't bad when it's with someone you like..okay, love.

Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow!!!!!!!!

A Series of Awkward Moments

A Series of Awkward Moments

I just want to say that I'm sorry for sucking lately...soooooooooo busy...but the end of this crap is soooo in sight!!!!!!!

stripes

A Series of Awkward Moments

For the teachers out there...I just taught some 3rd graders the first of a 3 part lesson--using this funny book, A Bad Case of Stripes--It's so funny. --They really loved it, even though there were some big words....A great book for reader's theater---if anyone wants a copy of the script I made, let me know! Teaching is so much fun...

:)Oh, and yes, Mia, I have heard of Walter, the Farting Dog.

I'm getting my resume critiqued today, and then I am going from there to get skinny at the gym....or, maybe I'll wait 'till 4 to get skinny so that I can watch Oprah while I do my cardio. Oprah is a rockstar.

This weekend, I tried on bridesmaid dresses for the wedding that I'm in--Really fun.

I'm going to go sit with my incredibly patient fiance now, because he just made me lunch...The only one who could ever put up with my neurotic pain in the butt--and, he even makes me lunch! Gotta love him! :)

A Series of Awkward Moments

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!!!

Here is a tiny list of some absolutely random factors which are contributing to my smile today:

-Tonight, I'm going to see the new Bridget Jones movie with my good friend...to be followed by wine!
-B just purchased a really nice shelf to go above the desk that I have half-finished white-washing...so that we can put all of our books and crap up there...Thank God! The clutter is making me hate life.
-He also got me a space heater so that I’ll stop whining about freezing my butt off. (Note: I WAS freezing it off.)
-Mia added me to her links!!
-I got up on time today.
-It’s Friday.
-My dog is sitting here being freakin’ cute.
-I have holiday coffee—Yes, it tastes like Christmas. Christmas in my cup every morning. Let me just tell you, it’s a reason to wake up.

I’m sitting here with my space heater and Norah Jones and my cinnamon sugar candle…God bless everyone. I love being warm. I’m planning on getting some random things done…Already worked on the kitchen…It’s my day to walk Preston…Gonna do my Yoga sun salutations---Always, always, there is homework.

Oh, the fiancé and I have had to make a command decision to box up our “Friends” DVD’s for awhile…yeah, we like them…a lot…It’s soooo easy to watch...and yet sooo insidious. Put in one episode while you eat. Finish plate—but, there are still a few minutes to the episode. Re-fill plate, because you have to be eating to watch t.v., right? Episode is over before plate re-fill is gone. Start new episode…

Continue rationalization cycle until fatness reminiscent of Free Willy or Jabba the Hut—oh, and you’ve also gotten nothing done for the evening…”Friends” are NOT there for me. So, they’re gone. Did I mention that we don’t even have any channels on our t.v….Really, not one….Now, we don’t have our friends, either. Dang their skinny tushies anyways. I think I’m going to have to scratch Sex and the City off of my Christmas list, too.

A Series of Awkward Moments

Can't write long, but thought I should update...I just have not had a free moment at all lately. I am SUCKING at exercise! I even wake up at 4:30 or 5 most mornings...It's just that even when I wake up, my morning is packed with other things that need to be done. I think tomorrow, I'll at least force myself out for a 30 minute run in the morning...

I'll try to write again in the morning to hold myself accountable...

I'm trying to figure out where it is that I am going wrong...I think that my all-or-nothing perfectionism plays into my relationship with fitness heavily...if I screw up...then, screw it. I don't mean to have that attitude, but hell if it isn't hell to shake off! Tonight, I'm going to bed with my morning to-do list prepared, my work-out clothes readily available and my coffe ready...and, if I can only work in 20 minutes...then at least that's 20 minutes!!!!!!!! I think part of my problem is that my goal is 1 hr. per day...and, if I can't do that, then I often secretly think it's not worth even starting at all....I'm working on this attitude...

...always working on one of my attitudes...

A Series of Awkward Moments

Feeling less evil today. Hooray! I'm feeling better about education--it's just the university stuff that gets to me...After being at a school all morning, I'm revitalized...love the time spent with kids. No, really. LOVE. IT. Did I mention that my "little" of 2 1/2 years through Big Brothers, Big Sisters is moving far far away? I wasn't thinking that I would get another one for quite awhile, but today, when I was working with ornery fourth and fifth graders, I just thought...maybe. Yesterday, I was in a special ed. classroom where I hang out two days a week. I freaking love it. I absolutely love kids. I feel a special pull to the problem children...Will talk more later.
It's really sinking in that my "little" is moving. I just love her so much...I can't imagine that this move is positive for her...but, I will always always be here to support her. Kids need support so much.
Must eat lunch...Will write more later.

random rambling...

As usual, I'm hard at work on an education project... (I'm assuming that I will never use it, although it would be nice if some of these things actually will go into use one day.) I think I've mentioned this before, but I'm in an unusual program where one works on their Master's while they are completing their bachelor's...So, oddly enough, I will graduate with my master's one semester after my bachelor's...(Yes, this is a large, accredited university--with a ranked program..not internet college or something) The reason for the existence of this program is that a master's degree is required to teach sp. ed. in my state, but there is also a large teacher shortage for sp. ed....The reeeaaally cool thing is that I pay undergrad. prices for almost all of my grad. classes...the bad thing is that I do a lot of practicum experiences, etc., that I might have been able to get paid for anyways, had I just gone into teaching regular ed. first--which I would be doing right now, had I not taken the odd route...Plus, it's always weird to tell my family at holidays that I technically don't have my bachelor's degree yet, even though I have about half of a master's...:)--Perfectionist, kick-my-own-butt-me, of course, wants to complete every imaginable class available before possibility of jacking up any other human beings.

I say all this to mention that I think that, aside from my sp. ed. classes, teacher education is much like a religious cult....at least at the land from which I hail...Please excuse me while I go pray to the dean of elementary education...Really, though, it is absolutely maddening. There is just no room for personal space whatsoever.--Also...education, I love...however, I am frequently told of my need to be an upstanding example in my community, so that the people who see me out will not think poorly of a teacher...Holy cow, that drives me crazy...I will be an example of what IIIIIIIIIIIIII think is exemplary, however, if we apply the faye rule of thumb, we will see that my example of anything is usually not consistant with that of the norm...That's just me.

Hopefully, the "real world" will not be as cultish as the experience in which I currently take part.

Yesterday was my little brother's birthday...He has cerebral palsy and is nonverbal, so we didn't talk...but, I'm going to Dallas to visit him in two weeks. :)

get over it

Are the Gods of morning punishing me for living in sin, or what? Again, my fiance has woken up in a state of morning dumbness and turned off MY ALARM CLOCK! I cannot tell you how absolutely maddening this is. It makes me into a crazed urber-psycho-creature that very few people have only heard of, never seen.

First, my professors have convinced me that should a teacher ever be late, they will certainly be fired on the spot. And whether aI believe that or not, it's just that I need a routine....I'm sort of a failed perfectionist (if you will...not that I recommend it)--so, in the morning, when I have my routine in mind, if it get's jacked up, I just feel that I've started my day all wrong.--like it's ruined.--or, maybe it's more than that... Okay, it's this. For such a loooooooong time, it has been a definite goal of mine to work out in the a.m.--Due to teachery practicum stuff, it really does have to be early if I'm going to do it in the morning.

I used to live alone in the cutest loft studio ever, and I would wake up early every morning, slowly sipping tea with milk, writing in my journal. I enjoyed being up before most of the world around me....I guess what I want now is that plus a little fitness, and when I get neither, and it's totally out of my control, I find that a litttle maddening.