I was at the creek one day when the water was too low to flow over this dam; instead, a couple of turtles sat precariously on the edge, basking in the sun and one another's company. I remember looking away and thinking how presumptious I was being for worrying about the turtles' balance as they rested above the 25 foot drop: animals know what they need and how to care for themselves. Or so it seemed. When I returned my glance, there was just one turtle. Inspite of my grisly accident-scene visions, the falling turtle was fine, sauntering around the still, shallow water at the bottom of the creek. This blew my mind a little, the fact that unless the other turtle falls, the two turtles (who could have been best friends?) might not ever see eachother again. One day, they're sitting warmly on the edge of their world...the next, one has moved on to another world entirely. Animal and insect experiences have always blown my mind a little, in the way that they make an easy analogy to the human experience...we think everything is such a big deal, that each of our lives is it's own huge, especially important big deal...Do animals and insects have a similar perspective? There is the spider who loses his web, his life's work, when I mistakenly catch it on the handles of my bicycle. To me, it is an insignificant event. Does the spider think, like a human might, "there is a greater purpose in this." Or, "God must be punishing me for eating that fly." Does he read, "Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good Spiders?" I don't really have a point. I guess it's just that when I think about an animal's perspective, it makes me think about how absolutely tiny I actually am. And that's okay.
I'm on an edge of change, too, as I have been for awhile. Tomorrow, I start a new job. In only a couple of weeks, I start the actual classes for my master's. B starts his third week of medical school tomorrow. There is some anxiety, but it is for fear of the unknown, which is just a natural response. Things are changing and changing, as things do. The little pleasures have been feeling especially poignant: celebrating my friend's birthday at a candle-lit dinner with wine and friends at a warm, welcoming Greek restaurant where the Greek owner cooks the meal herself and begs you to try to most authentic items; going to see Harry Potter with my 12-year old brother last night and sitting in the front; eating vegetarian tacos & red wine with my husband for dinner tonight; reading before bed.
