i can't live if living is without you

I've been sort of blue lately. Or, bored. Bored. Blue. I don't know. I've finished the Teach For America-ish certification program that was keeping me ever so busy, and now I'm just looking, looking, looking for that elusive pay check. I went into teaching for all of the mushy reasons, but right now, I'm all about the paper. I'm also all about a reason to get up in the morning!

I'm one of those people who is pretty motivated and healthy when I stay busy...I totally thrive there. During the majority of the summer, I was super busy-- a little too busy, honestly, but I do so much better in life when my plate is full. Now that I don't have anything on my plate, really, I'm honestly pushing miserable a little bit. It's summer! I love summer. I'm one of those annoying people who doesn't even mind the heat. I'm not getting out there and doing the things that I love, though. I love reading in coffee houses, yoga, walking my dog, going on long bike rides-- I don't do any of that-- There is a "hot" yoga studio a block from me offering unlimited yoga for $10 for 10 days, and I kept saying, "tomorrow, I'll go." Did I? Nope. You'd think that with all this time on my hands, I would have a pristine apartment and would be exercising daily. Nope, nope. Catching up on my correspondence? Nope. Re-watching "You've Got Mail," b/c I'm too lazy to even change the DVD? Uh, maybe.

I keep saying to myself that I am SO excited that once I get a job, school will start soon...b/c I know that this apathy will take care of itself once I'm busy again. The fact is, though, I can't depend on external factors to maintain my quality of life. I really need to get out there and live my life. I always go on and on and on about living life to the fullest, and I've yet to find the most full version of my life on my futon.

Unfortunately, this is all I have right now...b/c not a lot has been going on! I spent time with friends yesterday...drank red wine and even wore a little of it. Overall, I'm doing great, really--- I just need to push through this next week or so of not a lot to do.