Wednesday, July 09, 2008

it's noonish


Preston is sprawled out, half asleep in front of the door, probably in case B comes home. Sam is looking especially disheveled today, sleeping heavily on the couch as usua,l with all four legs straight out as if in casts. B is playing tennis and then reading at Starbucks. I'm drinking tea. And writing you.

Second day of juice fasting. I woke up and did a mini yoga/breathing thing, and then poured a pot of tea from fancy pants dechlorinated hot water thingy (pictured above). I have one in my classroom, too, so I can be a tea nerd all day long. B and I originally were originally doing a 1 day juice fast, something we had studied in ayurveda that's supposed to kind of reset your digestion and hunger cycles. During the fast, we both found ourselves pretty intrigued and decided to do it today, too. Most, I am intrigued with fasting as a way to "sit with" various thoughts and emotions. Anyone who knows me well knows I am truly passionate about food. Surely, I always will be, but I'd like to use it (and other things, like the internet, for example) less as a distraction from whatever thoughts are bouncing around in my head. Then, I know I'm passionate about the cheesecake and not just what the cheesecake is helping me not to think about (which is usually something benign like work, anyways).

Other than occassional grumpies, the only problem I've had so far is headaches. Especially sinus headaches. Oh. My. God. I am talking about sinus headaches, here. The way it comes and goes is the weird part. Is this movement? Is this a good thing? I finally took 4 ibprofin last night because I just could not believe it, although I was a little worried about taking medicine on a fast. Any underlying hypochondriac tendencies were in full swing, let me tell ya, and I thought maybe I should break the fast to avert certain (painful, slow) death. In the end, it passed. And returned. And passed. I wonder if this is my body getting rid of a sinus infection, and that the movement just causes pain...

For like 8 months on and off, I've had this very frustrating health mini-crisis of having a low fever on and off and inflamed glands/nodes...some sinus symptoms, but really the issue has just been the discomfort of all of that inflammation and just the aches of having a low fever....went through 3 rounds of antibiotics earlier this year which did nothing, so the (minimally to moderately trusted) dr said it must be some kind of viral thing, maybe mono or something like it that likes to last forever...Bah. Western medicine. Or, maybe it's not the medicine, but the hurried system under which some doctors have to operate...I feel like going to the doctor is pointless, because there is so little discourse, or cognition whatsoever for that matter. Especially after watching B bust his ever lovin' moneymaker through medical school, I can't imagine him turning to a thoughtless repetitive cycle of prescribing antibiotics after antibiotics...but, either because of complacency or just pressure under a system, I know we've all been through that with doctors.

Enter integrative medicine. Saturday, baby. My appointment with western trained dr, also trained in ayurveda, also a cranial-sacral osteopath. Let the "ness" quest begin.

In other news, B and I are looking at condos/houses. I know. I think my whining was evidence of a critical mass that ended up with me realizing that it's not about where we are as much as who we are. That doesn't mean that we'll always be here, but we are now and it's okay to put down some roots. If you know me well, you may know that roots freak me out a little, but not for any good reasons. Anyways, we can't afford a lot, especially since a bank will not recognize B's student loan income (which then cuts our annual income in half), but we are having so much fun looking and imagining. If you want to bring a house warming gift, you can find us in the ghetto. We haven't decided whether we want to be bloods or crips. Suggestions?