some people wait a life time for a moment like this

...so, I got tagged by Climenhaga to say five quirky things about myself...I don't think I've been tagged before, isn't that sad? tear, tear, pity party, pity party...

God bless lists, by the way.

1. I stay excited about Christmas all year long...even worse, I start listening to the holiday music right after halloween. i don't care how annoying you think i am, christmas is great. I used to just hate it (along with smiles, happy people and the color pink) when I was a dark and gloomy teenager, but I'm INTO it now! Last year, I had a Christmachanukwaanzakah party at my house.

2. I hate it when people talk about the bodily fluid that lives in the nose. Hate it. It makes me terribly aware of my own, which for some reason I find to be the most discusting sensation imaginable, even right now. ugh. i know this will be a challenging ocd-ish quality if i ever become a parent, but i cannot help it!

3. As long as we're on obsessive/compulsive tendencies, I also have a problem with someone watching me blow my own nose or brush my teeth. i will leave the room, close the door, whatever i need to do to get some privacy.

4. In spite of my need for privacy in such situations, I'm surprisingly comfortable discussing many things that others probably would consider private...this was much to the dismay of my parents when i was growing up...i told on myself often and shared more than they ever wanted to know!!

5. I really like the Andrews Sisters. Really. I can sing many of their songs and have always enjoyed that era both musically and historically speaking...I was once Rosie the Riveter for Halloween, although most people in my college town did not figure it out...

I tag Margaret & Lauren & Christi Lee & whoever else actually reads this blogs and wants to be tagged.

i like boxed wine and grew up in a trailer, but...

I am 20% White Trash.

I, my friend, have class. I am so not white trash. . I am more than likely Democrat, and my place is neat, and there is a good chance I may never drink wine from a box.

Take the
White Trash Test
@ FualiDotCom

update: mysterious rash unveiled

I have this.

...um...and, being the obsessive freak that I am, I was able to tell my dr. what I had without him telling me, and his jaw nearly hit the floor. No, nice dr. man, it's not that I'm a genius (well, I may be, but this is no example!); I'm merely a little insane and I couldn't sleep for one minute until I was 100% positive whether I had a flesh-eating virus.

The best thing about this "disease" is that it is next to unknown for it to appear on the face or fore-arms....except in me! It's just too funny and typical of my awkward and generally embarassing lifestyle for me to be that upset. You know, I don't get as upset by stuff like this as some people might, simply b/c it always really and truly does happen to me. Did I cry when the hairdresser at the beauty college jacked my hair up so bad that another student came over and whispered in my ear, "make her stop?" Nah--Been there too many times. Just a day in the life. I'm "that girl."

mysterious rash, omg

well, i don't know what i have, but i'm secretly quite concerned. it is typical for me to become quite concerned; atypical for it to turn out that there was actually any reason for such concern...so, at least there is that.

i have several welt-like bumps on my stomach and back with a few on my arms and neck. they're mostly about dime or nickle-sized and they are red and itchy. it started about a week ago, and instead of going away, I'M GETTING MORE AND MORE.
After annoyingly extensive internet research to rule out small pox (check) and leprosy (check)...my fear is that it is this one skin condition that i read about which does not go away for like THREE MONTHS. OMG. OMG. I'm in a wedding in three weeks, and I'm already starting to look like a leper. If anyone sees a shirt that says, "I'm not contagious," buy it for me and I'll pay you back.

of course, that is assuming the mystery rash isn't contagious.

my dr. appt. is at 2:15. ugh.

o' chanukah tree

Spent the afternoon with my mom who came into town to visit. She bought me this tiny, tiny Christmas tree, and then we bought all of these tiny, tiny decorations for it! It is ADORABLE! I decorated it all in pearly silveryness--you know, to be multicultural. Okay, so it's a sad attempt at encouraging cultural diversity, but since my husband is Jewish, I try to stick to blues and silvers insteads of reds & greens...and snowflakes instead of Santas...The funny thing is I don't think that Bruce could care less, even if I walked around in a Santa costume. Secretly, I just like it more. Wanna know something funny about life in the midwest? My husband was only the second Jewish person that I had ever known--we mostly just had white, Christian, republicans in my home town--and some grain elevators.

We were the poor people. We lived in a trailer behind my grandma's house. The cool thing about trailers is that all you have to do to see who's home is turn your head to the left and then to the right. The bad thing about trailers is that some of them, like ours, still have the tail lights, and rain is surprisingly loud when falling on a tin roof. At any rate, I must have gone to a good school or just met some good people, because I never felt ashamed that I lived in a trailer or had free lunches. I was really curious about people who had more money than we did, and I was sort of suspicious of them. Maybe I thought that they were rude because they didn't share. Maybe I was a com-mie child? :)

Anyways, I came home from hanging out with my mom, put on my COMFY pj pants and made myself wheat pasta with sauteed vegetables and tomato sauce. It reminded me of pasta putenesca from a series of unforunate events. I had green tea, too. My plan is to pick up a little, study a little, do a little yoga.

i never thought i would be saying this but...

i think i'm going to start WW this Saturday morning. this whole knee thing has gotten me really freaked into feeling pretty motivated to lose, and I think meetings would help give me a little much needed discipline...also, WW seems to be the most vegetarian-friendly plan. it's too bad i'm not more motivated to have a hot ass or something--than weight loss probably wouldn't have ever been an issue for me, really. so, in a way it may be a blessing that this knee shit has come up, I guess...it forces me to face my health now instead of later...i just want to live healthy, be healthy and happy and smiley. i don't want to think about weight all the time; i don't want it to be a major focus of my life. i haven't decided whether i'll do the internet stuff, too. i think i probably will. it sounds like a good way to stay organized and keep track of things. i'm kind of excited. the meetings on saturdays are at 7:30, 9 or 10:30. I think I'll go to the 9.

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i'm not prostelytizing; i just think think this is an interesting quote.

Isn't man an amazing animal? He kills wildlife--birds, kangaroos, deer, all kinds of cats, coyotes, beavers, groundhogs, mice, foxes and dingoes by the million in order to protect his domestic animals and their feed. Then he kills domestic animals by the billion and eats them. This in turn kills man by the million, because eating all those animals leads to degenerative--and fatal--health conditions like heart disease, kidney disease, and cancer. So then man tortures and kills millions more animals to look for cures for these diseases. Elsewhere, millions of other human beings are being killed by hunger and malnutrition because food they could eat is being used to fatten domestic animals. Meanwhile, some people are dying of sad laughter at the absurdity of man, who kills so easily and so violently, and once a year, sends out cards praying for "Peace on Earth."
- David Coats from Old MacDonald's Factory Farm

squeaky voices and ungodly smells

i was just thinking...we (or at least i) make all these assumptions...or not really assumptions...but, in the same way that i read a book & imagine the main character in my mind, I develop voices and body language that I imagine you blogger friends encompass---

...and, I have to wonder--what if we all met at a big party? Would we be surprised and destracted at how different each other is compared to what we imagined...in the way like when a movie is made from a book & you're just soo suprised at who they picked to play your favorite character?

for example, i think of Mia as having sort of a deep voice--you know, with, er, "phone operater" potential...but, what if she is quiet and squeaky? what if?

and, Margaret, do you gesture wildly and knock passers by down in the process...i don't imagine that you do, but who knows?

i just died in your arms tonight

tom hanks, that is.  i actually had a dream where i died.  i don't know that i've ever had one of those before...tom hanks was there, but i think that might have something to do with the fact that "you've got mail" was playing when i fell asleep.  the strange thing is that i always want to analyze my dreams, but i never have random things & symbols that you would find in dream books...but, in this dream, i was crossing a lake that had waves bigger than in the ocean...and, i never could quite get to shore...then, a storm came through and it was even worse and the waves were shaped like big tiger claws crashing onto the rocky shore...then, it occurred to me that the two people i was with died-including tom hanks...and then, i realized i must have died, too.  i was scared for about a second, and then there was nothing...i either woke up or changed the dream channel.hmmm.    

happy birthday, tyler.

this is my brother. today is his birthday. i just remembered this a couple of hours ago, but that is o.k. because he does not know it is his birthday. he has cerebral palsy. he's non-communicative (traditionally speaking, that is) and he lives in dallas, so i can't just call him up or send him a letter that he will know is from me. Few things in life have confused me so much as being "the o.k. one." "Survivor's guilt for a disabled or sick sibling can be truly unbelievable; at least it is not unbearable anymore, though. i try to remember that god is probably smarter than me, and that for me to walk around miserable and feeling sorry for my brother means that i assume i have something that he does not...which is pretty presumptuous. i can only hope that the secret universe inside his head is bright and wonderful beyond the limitations of the tangible world that i reside in.

solitude, i guess.

I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. ~Henry David Thoreau, "Solitude," Walden, 1854

Inside myself is a place where I live all alone, and that's where I renew my springs that never dry up. ~Pearl Buck

full circle...well, kind of

in an effort to be less cranky, i'm trying to focus on things that make me uncranky...such as quotes and lists...while i drink coffee, no less.

It is strange what a contempt men have for the joys that are offered them freely. ~Georges Duhamel

a joy in my life that is free: relationships

you know how AA talks about the "higher power?" i believe that there is a higher power to be found in all the relationships in the world...when i have coffee with a friend or even stop to talk to an acquaintance, my feeling is that "god" can be found in that interaction. wow, am i flakey or WHAT?!

To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring. ~George Santayana

gratitude for a "changing of seasons" in my life: i am a compulsive...planner. planning helps me feel in control of my future. i think it stems from growing up with alcoholism in my home...you never know what's going to happen next, so you plan for all that you can, and then you have something you can count on. something i've been working on is stepping back from my situation and from my planning so that i could enjoy the surprises in life that would have otherwise been hidden to my peripheral vision...so, i'm grateful for that--for this time in my life where lots and lots of my plans have fallen through, failed, whatever...it is a season of change, for sure, although i'm really not as grateful for it as i would like. it's easy to get consumed, you know.--in society, goals...

gratitude for the changing of seasons, literally speaking: the TREES are SO pretty right now! red and orange and yellow EVERYWHERE.