I'd like to thank all the little people...

...that I ate for dinner, which is why I'm enrolled in The Biggest Loser at my place of work. I'm pretty excited about winning 400 dollars and have pretty much decided that the money is mine. You can go ahead and congratulate me now, b/c I'm going to win. I don't usually report fitness info on this blog anymore, as I've become supersticious about it (it started as a weight loss blog, but I've actually gained 15 (or 20?) lbs since starting it)....Now, I didn't control for all variables, I will admit....such as increased calories and carbs and decreased exercise, dating Ben & Jerry, not to meantion that I'm not getting any younger, folks.

natural selection.

?

What's rolling around in my head today...


I'm not a Christian in the traditional sense, but I hope to follow Jesus (and Gandhi, and MLK, and Dorothy Day...). Can Jesus help us figure out why Americans are the richest and yet most depressed nation in the world? He said, "...it is easier for a camel to go through the
eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the
kingdom of God." These words just keep rolling around in my head.

Since I've taken my spiritual studies outside
of a traditional church, I've
come to believe that what was taken literally from the
Bible and what was taken figuratively has always been
chosen for us...For a long time, I cast the entire book aside...but, then I picked up bits and pieces and found them refreshing when viewed outside of the exlusive and oppressive context of fundamentalism. For example, in Luke it reads, "the kingdom of God is within
you." Why is this what we take figuratively? It seems to me that it is saying what might be the most true: God is in each of us... IS each of us...and then, taken with the above Biblical passage, that every overindulgence is another step away from God.

As we Americans
rationalize all that we have, one
child dies from a starvation-related cause for every
breath we take and the MAJORITY of the world does not have running water or electricity....maybe that cuts us off from our
spiritual connection with God in some way...the
"kingdom of God that is within us."
Could this be part of our collective cultural depression?

It's a finger that I point at myself, as my indulgences are plenty. I've heard it said, "we must live simply so that others may simply live." The question is, how far do we take that? Where is the line between being overly-generous and rationalizing? Where is the line between indifference and doing more than is healthy? Is there one?

unbelievable.

My new fondness for Regina Spektor music is not quite unhealthy, but admittedly a little intense...She has got to be the most, or at least one of the most, talented contemporary musicians... sigh.

Season of NonViolence

First of all, Happy Season of NonViolence!! Almost. It's coming up, time to get prepared...How are you going to celebrate the time between the deaths of MLK and Gandhi, two non-violent heroes who died as a result of violence? A Season for Nonviolence, January 30 - April 4, is a national 64-day educational, media, and grassroots campaign dedicated to demonstrating that nonviolence is a powerful way to heal, transform, and empower our lives and our communities. Inspired by the 50th and 30th memorial anniversaries of Mahatma Gandhi and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., this international event honors their vision for an empowered, nonviolent world. Get ready, people. We are not those who govern us....more than ever, we need to celebrate the missions of visionaries like Gandhi and MLK. Heroes. (http://www.agnt.org/snv02.htm)

Teaching and the army...
No, this is not about the fact that No Child Left Behind legislates that our children will be actively recruited by the army when they get to high school...(that is just one more reason to vote...in my opinion, for Barack Obama, who if he's reading this, I desperately hope will run in '08). It's about the challenge teaching is and how you can't NOT grow from it. I've heard people say that they went to the army to learn discipline, etc., but I say...be an educator. It is boot camp for the strong of heart, and I believe that you'll never be the same again after you've been a teacher. I think the first 6 weeks of teaching, one is almost certainly borderline mentally ill, and I see the necessity in it being a contracted position. It takes awhile to get hooked. I remember early on thinking, "my blood pressure must be dangerously high; I bet that's grounds for release from my contract."-- so many seemingly unsolveable problems that you are honestly considered a failure if you do not solve...it's the most stressful event I've been through, and although I'm no cancer survivor (unlike Lori at missmelanoma.blogspot.com) , I've been through at least SOME stuff...

Puberty and Humility...
I'm teaching 6th, 7th, and 8th...6th graders and I, we connect. I've always connected with kids, and sixth graders are still totally kids. It's an almost effortless connection, and it's secretly gratifying to be instantly liked by them and strict at the same time. Obviously, I'm not there to be liked; but the days when I can do my job AND have a positive experience with my kids is much better than the days of personality clashes and attitude problems....

Ah, the eighth grade. I've learned the most from the 8th graders. I do not connect with them naturally...and I hear that we grow the most when we are challenged, so I must be growing. To me, they seem crazy... 50% grown, 50% kid, 75% illogical, 95% emotional. That doesn't add up, but it doesn't matter. We've not reached logic yet; our little frontal lobes are still waiting to finish growing....I tend to find myself on the same emotional roller coaster that they ride, in the theme park of change. For every time that I'm on the "high hill" of the roller coaster, secretly blaming my kids for their own age and home-life induced confusion/behavioral outbursts, I find myself plummeted down the tracks at speeds that steal my breath...all the way down to humility, which is very...well, humbling. They are the tea cup ride, too. One minute going a million miles an hour, and then at once barely turning...my auto thought is to judge them as adults b/c they seem more like adults...but, they are not. Instead, I try to see them like God would see them, or how their parents may have seen them when when they were first born...Like an anthropologist, I've also studied the secret language of adolescence...I've composed the following handy guide for those of you who might run into adolescents at home, work or more likely, in the mall...

Easy Reference Adolescent Language Guide: Conviently printable for theater visits and mall encounters!
#1: " I don't care" = "I'm confused." "Do you care about me?" "I'm having a bad day." or "I do care, but my friend doesn't, so I'm going to say I don't. We'll talke later."
#2: "That is so gay" = "I don't feel like doing that." or "I don't know how to do that" or "Does my hair look okay?" or "I started my period."
#3: "Those shoes are tight" = "Your shoes are ugly, and I'm making fun of you" or "I like your pumas"
#4: "I hate you" = "Do you hate me?" "Do you like me?" "I'm having a bad moment." or "My mom is drinking again." or "I like your pumas."
#5: "Miss, we broke up. Now, we're 'friends with benefits'" = "I'm totally doing IT, and why is the blood running out of your face?"

16 more days to Christmas Vacation

I know, teachers aren't supposed to think like that. If you think that's bad, you should hear the thoughts in my head when one of my students told me I need to dye my hair today; this color doesn't work for me. Homonal little angel.

You know what, though. I haven't quit. I'm miserable
in a lot of ways, and this is stressing me to the max,
but I'm sticking with it even when it's far from
perfect.