on a walk...

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.” Albert Einstein

So, Dear Universe...

Someone somewhere undoubtedly has a more important question, but my sneezy a$$ self wants to know: What is the lesson in a cold? Is there a lesson? Stillness? A reminder of the fleeting, impermanent state of things? Appreciation for baseline? When I am sick, I tend to feel anxious about what I'm not getting done and of the life I'm not getting. I think things like, "I should be outside," and "how am I going to write my lesson plans?" Pema Chodron says, "This moment is the perfect teacher." What is this moment trying to teach me?

I've also been wondering, will Sabrina and Mark(DWTS) stay together forever? And what is your take on Albert's strappy sandals?

yay

our old apartment + imposing cat + dog + mess

Well, my job seems to want me back next year. Yay for me, because I'm having a crap-load of fun and really love where I am; the thought of going longer into the summer does not seem like work. Of course, I eventually tend to love where ever I work, and I really believe we make our happiness where ever we are, but I also think this is just right for me right now. It amazes me that my weeks and weekends seem to blend into one another more and more, as I become increasingly "present" throughout the week. Part of this is the humility of spending all day every day with the same little kids depending on me; it is unbelievably humbling, such a blessing. It seems wrong not to show up excited to see them; their eyes light up when I pick them up in the morning, and they give extra long hugs on Fridays and before breaks. The most humbling thing is that all of that is not about me. I really believe that's just how kids are; they just want to see your eyes light up back.

Anways, although I love where I am (and plan on staying until security is called), I was missing some of the fun of middle school tonight. Man, I *loved* messing with those kids. Most of them didn't know the teacher could control all of the computers in the computer lab, so I got a lot out of computer lab days. I would blank out all of the kids' screens with "I know what you did last summer," and I liked to take over boys' computers and google things like "How to sing like Britney" and barbie.com. In my room, I had one of those giant projectors that would show my computer screen. I once put up one of those, "find what's wrong with this picture" things that you stare at until the girl from the Ring pops up all huge, scary and screaming (loud). I'm talking the size of a wall, that scary little girl. These kids literally fell out on the floor, and I'm sure I annoyed some teacher neighbors; it was the best day.

If I ever go back to middle school (or high school), I will always take 2nd grade with me. I've decided that they really aren't different. The younger ones are just more transparent (Okay, infinitely easier, but still- basically the same). They all need you. They all want you to love them and like them; the middle school ones just take awhile to buy into you. They've seen more failures, realized that not everyone will love them back; they are the same thing, just more insecure.

cytoplasm

So get this. You know those little chocolate covered cherries? Not the ones with the white filling, but the clear, juicy filling? Total cell model. Well, at the little kid level. The chocolate is like the cell membrane. The cherry is of course the nucleus, and the juicy stuff is the cytoplasm. And, even though I've been stapling these little yummies to my tush for at least a couple of decades, I never gave thought to their name: Cellas. Cell, people! Coincidence? You may not care, but I think it's fabulous.

I think my kids really enjoyed this day. And holy, crap, I enjoyed teaching about cells, tissues, organs, systems. The jello you see is a cell model too, with a grape for the nucleus and a baggie that is the cell membrane. We used floam as a model for how cells stick together to create tissue...the tissue creates organs, so the kids shaped the floam into the important organs that we studied in their stations. It was a whole mess of fun.

Now, we are doing weather and the water cycle. I'm enjoying it, but a little intimidated to be writing the lesson plans because I'm the least experienced 2nd grade teacher on my team by about a hundred years. I'm the one who hearts the sciences and has a secret dream of being a zoo education curator one day. Something about loving it so much almost makes it harder, because I just want it to be great. And so I look and look and look and search and...the end result is that I've put TONS of effort in, but have only produced a very normal amount. I feel like I should add an addendum to my plans: "This may seem like a normal amount of work, but I have actually put 470 hours of research into this, and hopefully that will show next year." You know, some of that's my ego. Not until reading A New Earth (by Eckhart Tolle) did I realize how much of my being is focused on my need to have a career viewed as important, to be important, to be a helper, one who sacrifices for others. I'm not saying I have a disorder or am even unusual; I think this is very common and most of us have identities that we are very attached to, and it feels liberating to become more aware of it.

Part of my perfectionism is just loving it, though, and knowing how much fun my kids will have. But these days, life balance is pretty important to me, so I have to be able to produce in a smaller amount of time. I don't want to burn out, and most teachers burn out in less than five years. Yup. True fact. So, (my goal is) I put my heart and soul into it and work through my little personal quirks and egoic worries, but I put a time limit on it. Then, I go on to focus on the rest of life...NOT constantly thinking about work. I love my work and want to be in the moment when I'm there with these kids. I still can't believe I spend all day with them, and that is such a gift. But when I'm somewhere else, I need to really BE there.

what do me and paris hilton have in common?

Criminal records? Rich fathers? Racy home-made videos posted online?

No, no, no. According to People magazine (or something), it's cupcakes. According to my sources, she only eats celery and Bacardi, no cupcakes. But, hey.

Sprinkles cupcakes are made with special vanilla from Madagascar, and they also use a whole mess of sustainable crap in their business practices. There's one in Beverly Hills, one somewhere in Arizona, and you guessed it: one in Dallas. Of course. If there is anywhere that isn't Beverly Hills but would like people to think it is, that's Dallas. Fine by me, though. People smell like Chanel, and I really like that since I can't afford my own. And the cupcakes are good.

Although red velvet is undoubtedly the best because of it's simple indescribable mmmmness, I like to branch out. Yesterday, I had the strawberry, and so did B. When we opened the box, we had to ask ourselves if we wondered into the wrong place. You know, er, a place of the novelty sort.
Stop thinking that.

my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

Saw a caterpillar at my friend, Liz's, school. She teaches 2nd, too. But bilingual, fancy.
Sam, being himself. This is when we first got him, and he had to wear a sweater bc parvo made him skinny and cold.
We get to make fires now!

during the time that i lost my camera cord....

Did the whole Halloween-thing. Took Preston to a community pumpkin festival.


Made wassail. Loved Christmas. Man, I love Christmas. B and I don't buy eachother presents for holidays, usually, but we celebrate things, and it is always special. I love the way we do that.


Found this dog at work. Ignored his greasy, yet cute self. Dog jumps all over my students, who are standing by the fence at recess. Of course, they LOVE this. If you ever had to stand by the fence at recess, first of all, shame shame shame. Second, you know that it is not supposed to be fun.

A few days later, dog, still hanging out at my work, gets VERY sick. B and I take him home to get better, but first we take him to the vet so that we know he won't get our other animals sick. The idea is to pay to get him better and fixed, give him a bath and adopt him out, which should be easy because people like little dogs. At the vet, they tell us that he actually has parvo (which is apparently VERY bad), and we have two choices: put him to sleep, or pay somewhere in the neighborhood of a thousand dollars to keep him on iv's for several days, the only chance of him fighting it. What did we do? Well, first there was some drama. But, here is who later become known as Sam on an i.v. at the vet. He would not even lift his head.


Now, Sam is fast like this. All the time. A collective OMG from me, B, our other dog and especially our cat. And we got attached, really attached. This meant we had to move from our beloved apartment building with the much-loved courtyard that we went to almost every day (2 pet max). It turned out for the best, bc our new place is bigger, way cheaper, and the same same neighborhood that we really like. We are much closer to the katy trail now, and literally across the street from a beautiful community park that you can lay and read in and let your dog off the leash...Preston that is. We've explained that being the oldest comes with more privileges, but also more responsibilities. Now we have a little balcony, which I love and from where the cat stalks birds he could never get. A galley kitchen, which I'm getting used to. My favorite thing is all of the wild life that hides away, right in the city (well, not the city, city...I like to see sky scrapers, not be in them): birds, squirrels, and in the early, dark morning, a raccoon! He was on the roof, right across the way from our balcony, giving our cat the evil eye. It was intense, very sharks and jets.


And here is some of that celebrating I talked about. Mmmm. Cheese.