happy birthday, tyler.

this is my brother. today is his birthday. i just remembered this a couple of hours ago, but that is o.k. because he does not know it is his birthday. he has cerebral palsy. he's non-communicative (traditionally speaking, that is) and he lives in dallas, so i can't just call him up or send him a letter that he will know is from me. Few things in life have confused me so much as being "the o.k. one." "Survivor's guilt for a disabled or sick sibling can be truly unbelievable; at least it is not unbearable anymore, though. i try to remember that god is probably smarter than me, and that for me to walk around miserable and feeling sorry for my brother means that i assume i have something that he does not...which is pretty presumptuous. i can only hope that the secret universe inside his head is bright and wonderful beyond the limitations of the tangible world that i reside in.

solitude, i guess.

I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. ~Henry David Thoreau, "Solitude," Walden, 1854

Inside myself is a place where I live all alone, and that's where I renew my springs that never dry up. ~Pearl Buck

full circle...well, kind of

in an effort to be less cranky, i'm trying to focus on things that make me uncranky...such as quotes and lists...while i drink coffee, no less.

It is strange what a contempt men have for the joys that are offered them freely. ~Georges Duhamel

a joy in my life that is free: relationships

you know how AA talks about the "higher power?" i believe that there is a higher power to be found in all the relationships in the world...when i have coffee with a friend or even stop to talk to an acquaintance, my feeling is that "god" can be found in that interaction. wow, am i flakey or WHAT?!

To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring. ~George Santayana

gratitude for a "changing of seasons" in my life: i am a compulsive...planner. planning helps me feel in control of my future. i think it stems from growing up with alcoholism in my home...you never know what's going to happen next, so you plan for all that you can, and then you have something you can count on. something i've been working on is stepping back from my situation and from my planning so that i could enjoy the surprises in life that would have otherwise been hidden to my peripheral vision...so, i'm grateful for that--for this time in my life where lots and lots of my plans have fallen through, failed, whatever...it is a season of change, for sure, although i'm really not as grateful for it as i would like. it's easy to get consumed, you know.--in society, goals...

gratitude for the changing of seasons, literally speaking: the TREES are SO pretty right now! red and orange and yellow EVERYWHERE.

And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals. (from Mean Girls)

...oh, to be blue in a red state...

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong...from Lauren

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

how stick people became extinct...a sad truth

disappeared. it was so funny. you would have loved it.

where oh where could my blogger friends be

where oh where did they go?





i am the scum of the earth...i am that which drips from my dog's nose...no, i am my dog's pumba heinous farts...forgive me, oh blogger friends for ever abandoning you. i will never sleep again ever if you do not forgive me. leave me a comment, or i will die from my GRIEF.

imagine no possesions

i just heard this song playing outside by my house. they are painting the house next door, and their loud music has been secretly annoying me all afternoon...but, this, i like. someone remade it. maybe everyone already knows that....as i've said before, i'm not very cool, and it's only getting worse.

Imagine

Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
living for today...

Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...

Imagine no possesions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer,
but Im not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.


*i don't know why i've been feeling all flakey lately, but i just get sad that we adults can't seem to follow the fundamental basics we teach our children...these early lessons are the seeds of human rights and altruism...share...do unto others as you would have them do unto you...stand up for what you believe...stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves...love yourself the way you are...