Oak Cliff Nature Preserve

Not long ago, B + I went hiking at the Oak Cliff Nature Preserve.  

There were rocks with seedy pasts. 

There were trails much more steep and rocky that the brave people (not me) fly through on their mountain bikes.   One thing we learned here is not all Oak Cliff Nature Preserve trails are equal.  Just because the first one took 11 minutes doesn't mean you will get off of the next one before dark.

There were roots.  And moss.

Happy accident.

The one in which she admits why she hasn't been writing.

Lake Cliff Park + nice day

I might erase this.

I haven't been writing, because I've been slightly freaked, medically speaking. Or something like that.

I haven't been avoiding writing for lack of peace...If this juxtaposition of being slightly freaked + the following can makes sense together, I'm actually MORE peaceful. More accurately, the place I'm in is best described as more "input" than "output." It's a place I've always gone where I need to center: Inside, spirit, nature. Historically, writing is a big piece of that, but I've been finding more of myself in emptiness, sitting than expressing or "thinking through."

I 've been reading a lot of Eckhart and having long meditation mornings. I've been trying to do my own little things like sit outside, go to bed whenever I feel sleepy, shut myself in my room when I feel depleted a all. Sometimes that's 6:30, but to paraphrase Byron Katie: This is exactly what is supposed to be...how do I know? Because it is what IS.

I'm sleeping sooo much, I'm exercising, I'm respecting my body and what I put into it, I've placed huge boundaries at work that were much needed. It's hard to do this when your work feels spiritual and gives back so much, but has to be done.

pieces + light

blue heron + ghettoasis

I'm pretty sure the heron is out of focus, but this is on our way out of our 'hood.  Note contrast of waterfall/nature with trash & gang graffiti reflection.  That's why we love it here!  

Seriously, we love it here.  Today, we were at the gym (I know, two times now.), and again, I just realized how I love being in this little urban community.  Five or ten minutes from downtown but still with all this nature.  I can overlook the occasional tire, shopping cart (or phone booth, as we now have it) in the creek.  I like the paradox of it.  

Reppin' for the ghettoasis, 

 

new years in the ghettoasis

Either I'm crazy again or living on the creek must make sounds (gunfire) much louder. And by much louder, I mean, "Are you *&#$*&^ kidding me?" On New Year's Eve, you would not believe the war zone sounds. Yeah, some (most) of that is fireworks, and yeah, only a few (one) were automatic weapons (the hell?!). Come on now.

Although it would be infinitely cooler, I'm not generally the cool-who-cares girl; I'm the one sleeping on the floor of my bedroom because the bullets have less entry points in there. I'm the girl that googles 'tazers,' 'how to tell gunfire from fireworks.'

And much, much worse; it's a devastating downward spiral, really. A harrowing tale at times. Some might say in a benign way; I'm more apt to call it a rocking back and forth, beat my head against a wall, wish I could go back in time and not know kind of a way. I've been down the google image search rabbit hole hell with teratomas, parasites...Not sure where the ideas come from. Karma? The devil himself?

My neighbors were not afraid of Satan at all, it seemed. I half expected them to be out talking about what I can only assume were the Sharks and the Jets outfitted with 21st century weaponry while all the police in the town were at a convention together. Nope. No one writing panicked comments on the message board, either. Even when we did get a knock on the door, it was not for war stories. Kyle across the street brought over black eyed pea soup that would bring tears to your eyes.

Ah, another day in our ghettoasis. I love it more all the time, but it is definitely different from Uptown. And Kansas.

I still love you, Oak Cliff; but I don't have to like you sometimes.