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i'm not prostelytizing; i just think think this is an interesting quote.

Isn't man an amazing animal? He kills wildlife--birds, kangaroos, deer, all kinds of cats, coyotes, beavers, groundhogs, mice, foxes and dingoes by the million in order to protect his domestic animals and their feed. Then he kills domestic animals by the billion and eats them. This in turn kills man by the million, because eating all those animals leads to degenerative--and fatal--health conditions like heart disease, kidney disease, and cancer. So then man tortures and kills millions more animals to look for cures for these diseases. Elsewhere, millions of other human beings are being killed by hunger and malnutrition because food they could eat is being used to fatten domestic animals. Meanwhile, some people are dying of sad laughter at the absurdity of man, who kills so easily and so violently, and once a year, sends out cards praying for "Peace on Earth."
- David Coats from Old MacDonald's Factory Farm

squeaky voices and ungodly smells

i was just thinking...we (or at least i) make all these assumptions...or not really assumptions...but, in the same way that i read a book & imagine the main character in my mind, I develop voices and body language that I imagine you blogger friends encompass---

...and, I have to wonder--what if we all met at a big party? Would we be surprised and destracted at how different each other is compared to what we imagined...in the way like when a movie is made from a book & you're just soo suprised at who they picked to play your favorite character?

for example, i think of Mia as having sort of a deep voice--you know, with, er, "phone operater" potential...but, what if she is quiet and squeaky? what if?

and, Margaret, do you gesture wildly and knock passers by down in the process...i don't imagine that you do, but who knows?

i just died in your arms tonight

tom hanks, that is.  i actually had a dream where i died.  i don't know that i've ever had one of those before...tom hanks was there, but i think that might have something to do with the fact that "you've got mail" was playing when i fell asleep.  the strange thing is that i always want to analyze my dreams, but i never have random things & symbols that you would find in dream books...but, in this dream, i was crossing a lake that had waves bigger than in the ocean...and, i never could quite get to shore...then, a storm came through and it was even worse and the waves were shaped like big tiger claws crashing onto the rocky shore...then, it occurred to me that the two people i was with died-including tom hanks...and then, i realized i must have died, too.  i was scared for about a second, and then there was nothing...i either woke up or changed the dream channel.hmmm.    

happy birthday, tyler.

this is my brother. today is his birthday. i just remembered this a couple of hours ago, but that is o.k. because he does not know it is his birthday. he has cerebral palsy. he's non-communicative (traditionally speaking, that is) and he lives in dallas, so i can't just call him up or send him a letter that he will know is from me. Few things in life have confused me so much as being "the o.k. one." "Survivor's guilt for a disabled or sick sibling can be truly unbelievable; at least it is not unbearable anymore, though. i try to remember that god is probably smarter than me, and that for me to walk around miserable and feeling sorry for my brother means that i assume i have something that he does not...which is pretty presumptuous. i can only hope that the secret universe inside his head is bright and wonderful beyond the limitations of the tangible world that i reside in.

solitude, i guess.

I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. ~Henry David Thoreau, "Solitude," Walden, 1854

Inside myself is a place where I live all alone, and that's where I renew my springs that never dry up. ~Pearl Buck

full circle...well, kind of

in an effort to be less cranky, i'm trying to focus on things that make me uncranky...such as quotes and lists...while i drink coffee, no less.

It is strange what a contempt men have for the joys that are offered them freely. ~Georges Duhamel

a joy in my life that is free: relationships

you know how AA talks about the "higher power?" i believe that there is a higher power to be found in all the relationships in the world...when i have coffee with a friend or even stop to talk to an acquaintance, my feeling is that "god" can be found in that interaction. wow, am i flakey or WHAT?!

To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring. ~George Santayana

gratitude for a "changing of seasons" in my life: i am a compulsive...planner. planning helps me feel in control of my future. i think it stems from growing up with alcoholism in my home...you never know what's going to happen next, so you plan for all that you can, and then you have something you can count on. something i've been working on is stepping back from my situation and from my planning so that i could enjoy the surprises in life that would have otherwise been hidden to my peripheral vision...so, i'm grateful for that--for this time in my life where lots and lots of my plans have fallen through, failed, whatever...it is a season of change, for sure, although i'm really not as grateful for it as i would like. it's easy to get consumed, you know.--in society, goals...

gratitude for the changing of seasons, literally speaking: the TREES are SO pretty right now! red and orange and yellow EVERYWHERE.