When I am afraid, it means that I have lost my connection with the truth that I am a part of the infinite, of the unity consciousness of which everything is a part. What is there to fear when endings are illusory?
I was reminded of this last night when I was meeting with some new Transcendental Meditation friends; I had put out the intention to know more local tm'ers, and of course, the universe ALWAYS responds. Clay is 32. Megan is 31. The fact that we were all in the same place at the same time, all having had the same desire to connect, is notable. We talked about our experiences and transformations since TM, the cycles, the wax and wane of spiritual awakeness- Even some metaphysical freakyness- something I rarely get to swap experiences on.
Later that night, I had a little opportunity to put into practice the beliefs of which I had been reminded. I was spending time with a friend and got my feelings hurt when they ditched for something better. I wanted to grasp at the friendship, for it to be to the other as I saw it. I wanted it to be as close as it had been (in my mind?), enough so that I would not have been the one ditched. Grasping.
Grasp the bubble on the stream because you want it to stay; see that it has disappeared. Grasp because you wish that things you love would not cease to be, or accept the impermanent state of reality. I tend to especially grasp onto circumstances under which I've allowed myself to feel vulnerable. Some of the relationships and situations on which I've grasped have remained, and some are like the bubble.
Impermanence. Herein lies a paradox. Everything is impermanent, like bubbles on a stream, popping in and out of existence; however, in it's more refined state, nothing is impermanent, and everything is infinite. Jobs. Friendships. Marriages. Dessert. All impermanent...in a sense.
I give my Trump Card to infinity- infinite unity and sameness. Everything will fall away, yes; however, in it's essence, nothing falls away at all.
Upon reflection, I realized it doesn't matter that I was not with my friend. My friend and I will always be together, a part of the same unity of which we are all manifested. If the friend drops away completely, if someone I love awakes from this life into another, if I am abandoned by someone I love deeply, if someone doesn't like me or cuts me off: these are the fears of my neurosis, what Eckhart Tolle would call "pain-body." These are the fears of my ego, and they are sometimes easily activated- especially lately, as my consciousness has been preparing to let go of some of these old "pain-body" fears. I swear in yoga the other night, I could sense my ego speaking: "No. No. No. No. No."
Liberation from fears can be a ticket into the present moment.
May I live in the present moment, knowing that any of my ego-fears do not need my attention and can be given to my higher power; in this case, knowing that at the same time, everything will be lost, and nothing important can be lost. May the spaciousness provided by this liberation provide me with presence to really live the moment with gratitude.
And again, I love you muchly. You so often have exactly the right thing to say at the right time for me. You are perfection.
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