This moment is the perfect teacher

"This moment is the perfect teacher." -Pema Chodron

I've been listening to lots of Pema, still. The wisdom that keeps floating by as I continue to remember and forget and remember forget is surprisingly simple: stay. I used to listen to Pema because then I would FEEL better. I journaled, because then I would FEEL better. Just hold on, I tell myself- Soon, you will FEEL better. I'm trying to get away from that; instead, to feel what I feel. To go into the discomfort, like facing the monster in a dream. The difference, ironically, in how I feel is shocking to me.

Of course, I continue to forget. And remember. And forget...

It is easy to forget when I've been so busy!! I know where my time is going! I'm doing two after-school programs, and teaching Saturday school is around the corner...I'm in a full time load of graduate courses (sort of by accident, long story)...unpacking, because we moved two blocks two weeks ago. The reason we've moved two blocks is because we got a new little dog that kept showing up in front of my classroom window and asked me to take him home, and our old apartment is a two-pet place (picures & super cute story forthcoming)...AND, I've been doing extra sleeping, because I keep getting the same sinus infection over and over after 3 rounds of anti-biotics...Am I allergic to Dallas? Is it the old building I'm working in? I've never been sick so many times in a row, although overall, I'm much sicker in Dallas anywyas than I was before I moved here. It's supposed to be a big allergy city.

I keep saying to myself, "Get through this too-busy time, and then you can get back to what life is all about." My lesson has been that life is with me in whichever moment I happen to be in...this moment is the perfect teacher. Instead of wishing for summer to be here, this moment is the perfect teacher. With my head and a humidifier huddled under a towel, this moment is the perfect teacher. Not getting to drink the wine I bought yesterday because the cork screw is in an unknown box somewhere...this moment is the perfect teacher. Giving up the idea of having A's in all of my classes b/c it would take the last shred of my life balance...this moment is the perfect teacher. My financial aid check being 6 weeks late...this moment is the perfect teacher.

It's easy to be thankful for these new moments: Sitting in front of our new fireplace...drinking coffee on our new little patio...watching our dogs play at the PARK we now live ACROSS THE STREET from!!!...how the litter robot has changed our lives (Do you have a cat? You HAVE to buy this!!! http://www.litter-robot.com/ )...Valentine's Day party with 2nd graders who might as well have been walking around with mountain dew I.V. drips...Oh, we got a new car, which I'm thankful for, although there will remain a place in my heart for our Scooby Doo van...and of course, uanbashadly abusing the ellipses... ... ... ...

Did anyone else cry like sad drunk at the Nanny Diaries? Man, I wanted to grab that little rich kid and hug him.