maybe my longest blogger absence

Wow. I have not been around these parts for awhile. I have to admit, I haven't been writing OR reading. Usually, I at least keep up on my favorite reads...I have some major backtracking to do.

It has been a CRAZY year. As in school year. (Some of us still measure our lives in semesters.) New grade. New program. New resolution to be best math teacher ever. Recollection of desire for life balance. Scratch new resolution; just be a much better math teacher. Thank you, Mia, for the book. I have so not properly thanked you yet, except in the fact that I have really tried to put the book to use (I have a feeling you might appreciate this more anyways!), which I'll tell you more about later...I am not joking when I say it has REVOLUTIONIZED my thinking about primary mathematics instruction. I am a new woman. I am talking about this book!

Now, it is Thanksgiving break, and things have just recently started slowing down. Exhale. We are finally starting to work on the house a little (pictures coming), and also to get out into the world of 3 dimensional people a little more. We've been hitting what we call hippie church, and have very good intentions to go on walks in the neighborhood.

Since I was last here, I have been...

Honestly, I've mostly been teaching. And thinking about teaching. It's the new program and new grade thing...I hope next year I can feel what it feels like to do the same thing for two years. To be honest, I'm a person who does things better in spurts, but I've been working on my attention span, and I think I can do it! Seriously, I could go without the stress! I keep thinking that I cannot teach and have a baby at the same time, but I haven't even given myself a chance to see what teaching without a whole bunch of extra stuff and changes is like!

Eating good food. Really. And bad food, too. But lots of good food. B and I have been waking up and eating eggs and sweet potatoes cooked in olive oil every morning. Then, we read a passage from Pema and sit to meditate for 20 minutes. It is very balancing, and I have been much more 'present' at work, which is great, because what a waste to work with 6 year olds and not be present!

Working (or rather, giving very good suggestions to B) for how to feel super safe in our ghettoasis. For real, we hear gun shots almost every weekend now. We life in a great neighborhood, actually, full of pretty nice homes, but it's close enough to whatever seedy motel or wherever that we do hear them. Kind of a lot. When we call the police, the Cheers theme song plays. Coming from Little House on the Prairie, I just have to say, "um...are you kidding?" But to be honest, it's good for the soul. I feel like facing a reality that many of my students have faced, and just people in general, and just facing it only a tiny bit more than I did before, humbles me a little. Having said that, we have a super fab alarm system, and check out our peep hole! It's MAGIC! Thanks, B!


Oh, and seriously. I got a new president. Best one EVER!!!

EVERYTHING is okay. All the time. It's all okay.

We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.
Helen Keller

Back when I went to a Christian Church when I was growing up, the adults would sometimes say things during service like, "God is good. All the time. He is good." I thought it was redundant back then. Later, I thought that since my faith changed, I wouldn't be taking a lot of the church "isms" with me. But, they come up sometimes, like now. We just can't judge situations, because we just don't know. I'm trying to remember that more often.

who are you?

"Friends are the family we choose for ourselves," writer Edna Buchanan once said. I consider the "family" I've gathered—with five kinds of pals I count on for completely different things—among the wisest choices I've made. If you can find even one who embodies any of the characteristics that follow, you can consider yourself fortunate.

1. The Uplifter
This woman's favorite word: yes. You could tell her you're trading your six-figure income for a career in offtrack betting, and she'd barely pause before yelping "Go for it!" Don't you need someone who looks past the love handles to notice the extraordinarily gorgeous you?

2. The Travel Buddy
When the hotel in St. Lucia is a bust, one characteristic becomes all-important: flexibility. This agreeable companion need not be the girl you traded pinkie swears with on the playground; it's enough that she's comfortable with quiet (between gabfests) and is a teensy bit mischievous (as in tequila after midnight).

3. The Truth Teller
Intent is what separates the constructive from the abusive. Once you've established that the hard news is spoken in love (not in jealousy or malice), you'd be smart to seek out this woman's perspective.

4. The Girl Who Just Wants to Have Fun
One Saturday a pal and I—and yes, we're both over age 12—pored over every glitter lip gloss in a drugstore aisle for an entire 45 minutes. Forget the crisis download (for that, see the Uplifter); this partnership is about spontaneous good times.

5. The Unlikely Friend
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive," Anaïs Nin wrote. My friends—some twice my age, others half, some rich, others homeless, some black like me, others Korean, Mexican, Caucasian—have added richness to my life that only variety can bring.

*from Oprah.com

and the beat goes on...

cnn article

All this has somehow made me realize I must put up my Christmas tree right away.

It was just too much today

http://www.tradingmarkets.com/.site/news/Stock%20News/1949334/

I should feel relieved, and of course I am relieved, but my relief is hidden somewhere in the back of my mind. All I can think of are the tears that fell today, from passionate, effective teachers...from kids who took a chance on loving their teacher...More than ever, now I feel like I never want to leave the children of this community, wondering how to take part in seeing that this insanity stops stripping passion and livelihood from innocent teachers, children, administrators, and our community.


What Carla Ranger (a favorite school board trustee) posted on her blog today, says it best:

Teachers Pay The Price
Today hundreds of teachers will be released.

Will this be done with dignity?

There is a crisis of public confidence.

Something is very wrongheaded at Dallas ISD.

This will not be corrected by releasing hundreds of teachers to relieve the latest financial chaos.

The problem will not be corrected by covering up the very serious financial mismanagement.

It cannot be undone by deception or solved by CEOs.

Dallas ISD has a spreading disease that has infected the institution with wrongheadedness.

It will not soon go away.

Someday, some way the Dallas Public School System must be reclaimed as an institution of integrity.

It will start with a Superintendent of Public Education who would like to be a servant leader of a public institution.

It will end with a Board truly committed to public service - not wrongheaded private agendas and unethical service.

Until then we say goodbye to the good teachers and staff who now pay the price.

May your lives be blessed in spite of the unjust price you now pay for the mistakes of others.

Thank you for your service.

We hope your loss will not be in vain.

i'm tired

That's it.

I'll come back, but not until I have slept.

so i try not to talk too much about work, but...

Today at work, of course, we remembered 9/11.

I happened to be reading a story to my kids at the carpet when the rememberance announcement came over the intercom. As I listened, I closed the silly big book onto my lap and looked out over the faces of 15 six-year-olds. A little surprised they seemed to "get" that this really was a moment to be still, I wondered if any of their parents had told them what it was all about. I thought about how they were born into a totally different world than was I. That blows my mind a little. Do they know what they're missing? Or, do they have more somehow? Do they notice me looking at them in a different way during this announcement, as if I'm trying to peak into their futures- their childhood dreams?

I don't know why she did it, but when I returned my glance to the row right in front of me, a litle girl had her hands folded together and eyes closed, whispering a prayer as if she were the only one in the room.

Another day, another lesson in humility.

Another reason to be present, to let go of the complaints, the frustrations when they don't learn fast enough or when I feel too tired to show up for them. Another reason to remember how I really feel about the fact I get to spend my days with children.